Grass Blades & His Ways

It came to me as I sat in a moment of frustrated rest. The strokes, greens pale and deep, and some golden, were so repetitive, over and over, up and up in thin, haphazard lines. I have never loved painting grass. Every ten minutes I would droop—arms crashing to bent knee, head hanging limp.

“I just want to be done.”

This was my frustrated whisper.

This is the frustration of my soul.

I didn’t know just what I wanted to be done with then, but I knew it was something important, something worth wrestling with in the night. 

Done, I wanted to be done—to be over that sin, to be through the waiting, to be healed completely, to fully forgive, to release it all, to know how to live a godly life where I am, to be right there at the end of the work begun in me.

 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

Can that day be today? My semblance of patience is but a thin mask; I am not patient. Not today, anyway.

Some days ago I read Psalm 85 in the fresh rays of morning. The words seemed fresh to me—I am not sure I ever read this particular Psalm before, or really let the words soak into my soul.

Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, 

for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly.
Surely his salvation is near to those who fear him, that glory may dwell in our land.

Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.

 Faithfulness springs up from the ground, and righteousness looks down from the sky.
Yes, the Lord will give what is good, and our land will yield its increase.

Righteousness will go before him and make his footsteps a way.( Psalm 85:8-13 ESV)

The end of the Psalm still tumbles about my mind; the words have been percolating, and the power of His Voice penetrating. And when I look at the way the words are put together, it pierces deep. I am no scholar (though I would very much like to be) but I like looking to the Strong’s Concordance for the deepening of understanding, the concentrating of the language.

The King James Version translates the last sentence as “Righteousness shall go before him; and shall set us in the way of his steps.” The word for steps, is also sometimes translated as time, a beat, an occurrence. And this settles over my soul the way this early autumnal sun settles over my shoulders: warmly. In the way of His time, His beat, His steps.

But I read it again, and again, look at more words: Make or set can be translated also as establish, or appoint. And way is sometimes translated as the course of life, a journey.

He will establish us in a life of His rhythm; a journey in His beat will be appointed to us. He will make his footsteps a way.  Behind and before us, His footsteps are a way to walk, a way to spend our lives. 

The connotations are coming together, the way becoming clearer.

My soul knows it not well enough yet: small strokes and steps make lives, set by the One who will give what is good. Will I ever remember? “Sometimes the great thing that heals us is doing a small thing again and again.” That is what Ann Voskamp said, and isn’t healing what I want? Maybe I don’t need some huge, flashy miracle, but small, gritty, everyday miracles, beautiful blessings He cannot help but give, everyday chipping away of what I must release. I need these brushstrokes of green, over and over, disciplining the heart to know what it forgets; I need to read the words over, over, to give thanks again, again in all the smallest of graces, to give the hurts and hardened parts to the One who sends them forever away. And I come to wonder if the journey is slow so that it can be filled with more of Him, that we may know Him more for all our weakness and suffering.

So I paint and paint and paint these blades of grass so that I won’t forget.

The Lord will give what is good.
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I traced the oak leaf from the lake, and would he ever have imagined that falling down and drying out would lead to beauty that might go on and on? Beauty to encourage, to remind us of His promises?
So here, have a printable poster in two sizes :)
And maybe make it your own, you know? Print on colored paper? Watercolor it? Or leave it simple, like mine. Click right on the images to download.

8.5" x 11"

11" x 17"